Dr. Ruby Ridgeback, PhD (Pawsitively Healing Doctor)

Licensed Therapist & Distinguished Lady Rhodesian Ridgeback


Professional Bio

Meet Dr. Ruby Ridgeback, the most sought-after canine counselor this side of the Serengeti. With her striking copper coat and the distinctive ridge of backward-growing hair along her spine (which she insists serves as her “intuition antenna”), Ruby brings an unparalleled presence to the therapy room. Her penetrating amber eyes seem to look straight into your soul—or possibly just detect whether you have treats in your pocket.

After completing her doctorate in Comparative Bark Psychology at the prestigious Houndvard University, Dr. Ridgeback established her practice with a simple mission: to help humans become at least half as emotionally balanced as the average dog.

Therapeutic Approach

Ruby pioneered the revolutionary “FETCH Methodology” (Feelings Examination Through Canine Healing), which has clients literally throwing their emotional baggage for her to retrieve and then bury in the garden.

Her luxurious waiting room features an array of premium chew toys—ostensibly for nervous clients, though suspiciously, they all end up under Ruby’s special therapy couch by day’s end. Sessions typically begin with Ruby circling three times before settling into her therapist’s position, a move she claims “aligns her chakras” but most recognize as standard dog behavior.

Dr. Ridgeback’s therapeutic techniques include:

• The Empathetic Ear Tilt: Ruby’s ears move with impeccable timing to reflect the emotional tone of your statements
• Intuitive Sniffing: She can detect anxiety pheromones from up to 20 feet away
• Pressure Therapy: Strategically placing her 75-pound frame across your lap when emotions run high
• Reflective Whining: Matching her whimpers to your emotional state with uncanny precision

Client Testimonials

“I came to Dr. Ridgeback with severe anxiety. After watching her chase her tail for five minutes, I realized how pointless my own circular thinking was. Breakthrough achieved!” — Grateful Patient

“When I described my difficult relationship with my mother, Ruby brought me her favorite half-chewed tennis ball. I’m still not sure what it meant, but I’ve been carrying it around for months and haven’t had a panic attack since.” — Confused but Improved Client

“During one session, Dr. Ridgeback fell asleep and started dreaming—her legs twitching as if she were running. Watching her chase dream rabbits helped me realize I too was pursuing things that weren’t real. Pure genius.” — Enlightened Patient

Credentials

• PhD in Emotional Support Sciences, Houndvard University
• Certification in Slobber-Based Stress Reduction
• Founder of the “Paws and Reflect” meditation movement
• Author of the bestseller “Who’s a Good Human?: Positive Reinforcement for People”
• Featured expert on the podcast “Sit, Stay, Psychiatry”

Personal Life

When not transforming the lives of her two-legged clients, Dr. Ridgeback enjoys long gallops on the beach, intimidating smaller dogs at the park with her regal bearing, and perfecting her “I haven’t been fed in days” expression despite having eaten twenty minutes ago.

Ruby shares her home with her human assistant (who naively believes she is the “owner”), maintaining a strict household hierarchy where Ruby sleeps on the bed while her human takes whatever small space remains.

She has never met a couch cushion she couldn’t improve with a light coating of fur, and firmly believes that tennis balls are a legitimate form of currency.

Appointment Information: Sessions available for the reasonable fee of five premium treats and unlimited ear scratches.

Office Hours: Monday-Thursday, 10am-3pm, with mandatory breaks for squirrel-watching and afternoon naps.

Note: Dr. Ridgeback cannot be held responsible for missing shoes, mysteriously emptied trash cans, or “the cat did it” incidents.